What Drives You?

 

Photo from eHealth Critic

I have always been very open and honest about myself. I have brought to light some of my deepest, darkest problems through writing this little blog. I've talked about my addiction to food, my weight problems, yada yada yada and it has really helped me with perspective and healing. I'll be the first one to admit that I am a "food aholic" but recently I had a wonderful conversation with one of my very good friends who also deals with the same issues and it left me wondering, what is really driving me? What is my main goal with weight loss and running ultras?

At first my motivation was to look "sexy". I'll admit it. I wanted to loose weight to look like a professional athlete with six pack abs and be able to walk around with no shirt on. There it is. There is the truth. But when I realized that my genetic makeup would never allow me the ability to do that I did it for people to look at me like I was a badass. Yep, when I did my first ultra all I wanted people to do was recognize me as a "certified badass". That was very short lived as I realized that I am still very slow. I won't win any awards for being fast, that's for dang sure.

But within the last couple of years I have drastically changed my outlook on this stuff to not be about me, but how I can inspire others to explore more about themselves. We as a society tend to live life on the very safe side of things. We tend to look at things like running/biking/hiking/adventure as something that we "can't" do. In my house "can't" isn't a word that gets used. You can ask Mrs Messenjah. There are a lot of times when my kids say "I can't do this". My response 9 times out of 10 is "It's not that you can't, it's that you don't want to". Not wanting to do something is OK (unless it's cleaning your room then you just have to) but don't confuse it with your ability to do something.

Don't think that I am "holier than thou". On numerous occasions before I came to the realization that I am capable of doing things I've uttered the word "can't" many times. When I went to college, I told myself that I wasn't going to be able to graduate because school was difficult. When we decided to change our eating habits, I told myself that I couldn't eat food without cheese on it. When I ran my first lap around that track, I told myself that I couldn't do it. When I ran my first marathon, I told myself at 20 miles that I couldn't go any farther. But in all of those instances, one thing turned my attitude around and made me realized that I CAN do things.

A lot of pacers or friends that have run with me in the past know that I use a lot of things in my past to make me realize that I am capable. Not to say that I had a bad childhood or adulthood, but I've been told many times that I couldn't do things without people even realizing what they are doing to someones self esteem. I had many coaches and teachers in high school athletics tell me that I wasn't good enough to play or to get good grades and I listened to them. I let them get into my head and actually believe that I was not ABLE to get good grades or be a good athlete. I know now that I am no superstar athlete or "star student" but I have a job now that relies on my ability to think on my feet and have been able to show that for not being an athlete I can help inspire others to find the best in themselves.

Now is the time for self reflection. What is that one thing that you see that you've wanted to conquer but have always told yourself that you "couldn't" or "can't" do? What is that one thing that you hear other people talk about but think, "there's no way I could do that". What is that one thing that gets your heart pumping?

There will be some bumps along the road. There will be times where you fall flat on your face. There will be times when you want to give up. DON'T. In those instances, take a step back and find out how you can make things happen. If you are losing motivation, take time away from the thing. Take a step back and remember why you started doing the thing in the first place. Trust me, it happens to me a lot.

I am not going to sit here and tell you that you should take up ultra running or trail running because I do it. I would love to see you do it, but find your own passion. That could be running. It could be biking. It could be swimming. It could be painting. It could be getting into real estate. It can be whatever you want "your thing" to be. You are capable of doing amazing things. What drives you?

Leave a comment. I would love to hear the things that you want to take on and how I might be able to help.