Ode to my dad

Dad,

Well, big guy...here we are. The morning of the day when we lay you to rest. For the last couple of days, I've been struggling to figure out if I wanted to write something that was just between you and me. But after meeting with people last night, I couldn't keep it to myself. I was reminded of how you taught us to live our lives and I couldn't keep that from people. You gave us the gift of storytelling so I wouldn't be doing your legacy any justice if I didn't put it on paper. 

Loving. Caring. Sharing. I can't even count how many times I heard those words since you took your final breath. So many people have come up to me and told me that they had no idea you were even sick, but that's the way you wanted it. That's the way you lived your life. With a sparkle for the now. A life that steered away from sadness and guided the ship toward laughter. A life that revolved around making people smile. A life that was filled with grins, even when the times were grim. Sickness can bring on sadness and you never wanted people to feel sad about anything. 

The other night, as we sat at your bed, surrounded by some of your amazing friends, we recounted so many of our favorite memories. Learning to swim. Learning to ride a bike. The vacations. Your terrible jokes. The restaurants. The comments about the size of our bowel movements. They all were there. And even with tubes, wires and hoses going in...and out...of your body, that appreciation for the moment was still there. Even when you knew that you had just made the toughest decision anyone will ever have to choose, you did it thinking of us. How it would affect us. And in those final hours of your earthly life, the words bravery, strength, courage, and honor overshadowed the wheezing of the breathing tubes and the beeps from the machinery you were hooked to.

As I write this with tears streaming down my face, I will do my best to honor the legacy that you've created. Obviously, I knew that you had a big impact on the world, but the outpouring of support from this community is something that I've never seen before. It's stuff that you hear of in movies or books, but rarely seen in real life. You should have seen it, dad, the line just to talk to me, Shelby, Brooke, Chad, Grandma, Debbie, and your beautiful bride was unimaginable. Never in my life have I seen this kind of response for someone who grew up with such humble beginnings and lived their life so simply. It was pretty magical.

You and I had our moments where we didn't get along. I think every parent has that with their children. Where the kid thinks they know so much more than the parent, but even in those moments when we butted heads, you never gave up on me. You wanted me to live for the now. To live each day with so much enthusiasm that it forces you to take a nap in the middle of the day to recharge...we've finally figured you out. To live a life of experiences, not for items to fill your house. To sit down from time to time and just listen to the wind blow through the trees. 

I want you to know that we are going to be OK. This community has been incredible. You have lots of people that are going to look after mom. She's, what you would call her, a "tough ol' bird". She'd be making you so proud right now. Her strength in dealing with all of this stuff has been incredible. Every day I look at her and am in absolute awe. I know that the strength that she has right now will fade once things settle down, but we've talked things through and she's going to be just fine. She has some awesome friends and this community is going to take great care of her.

You would be amazed at how unbelievable your "little red" has been. She loved her dad so much. She's shown a level of patience and maturity that would impress you. As the older sibling, I keep telling her how proud I am (and how you would have been). She's been so much stronger than I have been the last couple of days and it's because she wants to honor you the way you deserve. You know how much of a great mom she is. She's going go on to do some pretty incredible things. I just know that you are going to be so pleased. She's got a great husband and kids that are going to take exceptional care of her.

For me. I'm doing alright. I know things will get easier and I'll have to figure out who to call when I have questions about life, but I'll be OK. I've got an unbelievable wife who has just been letting me cry and letting me deal. She loved you so much and I know that you loved her. I think the toughest part is going to figure out my place in this world. How to love my wife the way you loved yours. How I can make the impact my community the way you've impacted yours. I'll do my best to teach my kids to love each other and to love people. They will never forget how their grandpa did things. I've also got the enormous responsibility of following in your gigantic shoes to teach my son how to be the man that you taught me to be.

I think that's the thing that I'm the proudest of. I'm so proud to be the son of someone who never stopped loving others. Who loved his wife. Who loved his kids. Someone who could talk to anyone and could take a nap anywhere. Someone who committed his life to serve a community and expected nothing in return. Someone who taught us the value of hard work and to enjoy everything that we do. Someone who loved the simplicity that can come from a wooden box with some guitar strings. Someone who loved a great tenderloin and knew everywhere to get everything that was "WAAAAY good". Someone who loved his grandkids and loved to share his life lessons with them...even when we told you to not tell them about the time your brother almost blew off his hand with a firecracker...

Sure, I'm going to miss you. Sure, I'm going to miss your stories...even the ones that I've heard hundreds of times...but as we prepare to lay you down next to your brothers and father, I just want you to know how much I love you. Your impact on this community has been amazing to witness. You are going to be missed by so many people far and wide. I've seen some of the toughest dudes I've ever met cry...and it's all for you. You wouldn't want us to be sad, but we're going to need to be for a little while. With time, our tears of sadness are going to be replaced by tears accompanying big belly laughs and "do you remember that time when he..."

I won't share on this paper the last words that we spoke. Those are for us, but just know that we're never going to stop sharing our excitement for life, to live each day like it may be our last and to never stop laughing.

I love you so much and I can't wait until that day when I see you again.

Dains...out!!!! ***mic drop***