I'm not perfect, but I can "be better"


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I sat in the locker room of the gym this morning after 2 hours of working out wondering what in the hell I was doing to myself. As I sat on the cold bench with the sound of showers, hand driers and people laughing, I got really frustrated. My reflection wasn't on the workout, but the events of the last month that led up to this workout.

I've been doing so good. Getting up every morning at 3:45, getting to the gym by 4:30, working out for nearly two hours 3-4 times per week. I've been lifting weights, riding a stationary bike, stretching, and I've even given swimming a try. Why am I not losing more weight? Why do I still have this bulge in my stomach? Why can I not look like those other dudes at the gym when I know for a fact that I'm working out just as hard (if not harder) as them? What is happening to my weight when I've spent so much of the last 12 years working to lose the weight? As I sat in that locker room wondering why my workout this morning was so difficult, I realized something. Something that I've known for a long time. Something that I've strived for, but have fallen short. Something that has kept me from being happy in my own skin for a long time. I'm.....not..........perfect........

It seems like such a simple statement, but one that I've had such a hard time repeating to myself. I've done a lot of really good things for my body over the past 12 years. I've lost a lot of weight. I've reduced my mortality timeline significantly without the aid of surgery, drinks, powders, pills or wraps. I've done it by incorporating exercise (probably too much in some peoples eyes) and healthy eating. The problem that I'm struggling with now is that I've gotten comfortable. I've gotten comfortable with the fact that I've run 10 ultramarathons and know that I can run off calories very quickly. I've gotten comfortable listening to people say "Oh, with how much you run, you can run off that extra piece of _________". I've gotten comfortable and lazy with my eating. As someone who struggles with food as if it's a drug, I've jumped back into the gutter. Yes, I can run off almost everything that I eat, but it gets harder when you have 4 slices of pizza and a pound of cream cheese dip with potato chips. And that's where this morning I realized that I'm not perfect and that's OK, but now what am I going to do about it?

We spend a lot of our time striving for perfection and in some regards that's good. Striving to do your absolute best is the key to be a successful person in life. But my problem is once I've seen some success, see things going right and almost "being perfect", I've lost my drive to give my health my best.

So today, I am committing to quit striving for perfection. I am going to quit striving to look like the dudes gracing magazine covers. I'm going to quit striving to be like someone else. Today, I am committing to stop trying to be perfect but committing to be a better version of myself than I was yesterday. I'm not perfect and I will stumble. But it's when you recognize that you've stumbled is when you know what has to be done to be better.

Join me today in my goal to just "be better". We can all do this together. Life can be a struggle, but it's how you respond that determines your success in life. Let's all #bebetter together.

Stay Strong, Run Long
Tha Messenjah

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