2014 Equalizer Endurance Run
My life, as with most people, can be defined by a series of ups and downs. I've silently battled depression, I battled weight problems, I've battled against my own insecurities. The thing that I've learned though about myself is that I never stop battling.
I came in to the 2014 Equalizer Endurance Run with a lot of things going against me. I've been incredibly stressed at work, I have a lot of "stuff" that takes up a lot of my time, I was under trained, I was slightly injured (weird hip thing), and I was not feeling the greatest. Not only these pressures, but I had signed up for this race as my first race as a member of the UVU Racing team and wanted to show the amazing team of athletes around the world what I could do. Tons of pressure coming into a race that for the first time in a long time I felt ill prepared to run. Wonderful.......
The lead up to the race was like most. I was on a 2 week "taper", but when I say "taper" I basically mean no running due to some weird hip problem that I was having. I wasn't going to come into this race and have to pull the plug early because I was overtrained and hurt. After the fiasco that was the Zumbro 100 in the spring I was going at this race for the long haul. Basically I spent 2 weeks continuing to due some strength training/cross training workouts and stretching like I've never stretched before. I was eating well. Drinking a lot. Trying to get as much sleep as I could, but about a week and a half out I started to get a tickle in my throat. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Not now. I can't get sick. This race is going to be horrible if I get sick!!!! I started taking vitamins, drinking OJ, drinking more water. Everything I could possibly think of to ward off a cold. We'll see if it works.
Race week is always tough. Having not raced anything in over 6 months, I was surprisingly not nervous about the running as much as I was about the other things in my life that have become more important. Family, work, the running club, etc. I was uncharacteristically nervous more about showing up to the race healthy than I was about running. It was weird because typically I spend several nights beforehand pacing around the house wondering if I had trained enough, what I was going to do at "mile X", my clothes, blah blah blah. But this time was different. When I had the opportunity to sit down and think it wasn't so much about the race but about getting "the systems" to cooperate with each other. This really isn't something I've had to deal with in the past and it really had me concerned. Race day kit assembled and car packed on Thursday night, I was ready to go.
As per usual, with the Equalizer, the night before the race was spent with some friends hanging out at our pre-race dinner. This is really one of the beautiful parts of this race. Every year, on Friday night, the RD coordinates a dinner where the racers can come to just relax before the big event the next morning. It is a great opportunity for you to just sit down in a casual setting and meet some new friends. I was lucky this year to have my buddy Byron with me (as we was running the 12 hour) and got to meet people from all over the state. Some who had run this event in the past and some who were doing their very first ultra-type event.
After dinner and a kicking back a couple of beers with Byron, his family and my bunch I settled in for the evening but knew it wasn't going to be a night filled with grand visions in my dreams as earlier in the day, the stratchy throat became a full on cold. Awesome….. Here is to a sleepless night.
Race morning came. I had my oatmeal with peanut butter and jelly…..yep, you read that right….peanut butter and jelly mixed straight in to the oatmeal….don't knock it until you've tried it….heaven in a bowl… a couple of cups of coffee and I was out the door to pick up Byron. Now, if you know me, if I say "I'll pick you up a little before 7" that typically translates into "I'll pick you up far before you are supposed to be ready" which on this day, it did. Sorry Byron :)
We got down to the lake with no issues. Now, normally people really relish in the opportunity for a morning with no problems. From my experience from the 2013 Equalizer, those mornings scare the heck out of me. Camp was set, my prayer flags for my UVU racing manager Basti had been laid out, final directions and instructions from Chris had been said and we were off.
As we head out some dude that I had met the night before at the dinner shoots out of the gate like he was on world record pace. I didn't know which race he was running but DANG he was going after it. I laid back and tried to stay within my comfort zone. My goal was to go into doing each lap in a 17-18 minute pace for as long as I could. To make a long story short, for the first 10 laps, I was right on that!! Boom!! I was eating. Hydrating. Feeling REALLY good.
Then all of a sudden, about 4 hours in it started to get hot. HOT?!?!? This is October. It's not supposed to be getting hot around noon?!?!?! For the second time in a year (and only my 2nd race of the year) I was going to have to deal with heat I wasn't ready for!!!! I had been training with the anticipation that it was going to be cold. GRRRRR!!!!! But just as predicted the high for the day hit 73 degrees by 3:00 pm.
I tried to remember and focus on eating, drinking and moving, but things were starting to go south since I wasn't ready for the heat. This was my 7th ultra and I still haven't quite mastered the art of "You still need to continue to eat". For me, what happens is I start to get nauseous and then know that if I eat, I'm going to throw up. If I throw up, there goes those calories that I've already eaten and I couldn't afford to lose any more calories. But 22 miles into the race, BOOM!!! There goes my stomach again….. "Just keep moving and drinking" is what I kept telling myself. I didn't want to get dehydrated again and have to deal with the side effects of that. That's not pretty. When you are already battling a cold (which requires you hydrate better) and you are racing and combined with a warm day it was going to be a looooooong day.
Aside from having a terribly sour stomach, I was in good spirits although you might not be able to tell from my tweets below :)
As the miles ticked away, I was joined by a lot of great friends and had some really great conversations. This is one of the things that I absolutely love about this race and I hope NEVER goes away. Chris does a great job allowing "pacers" during the race. Personally, I think pacers should only be allowed for the 12 or 24 hour participants and after 6 hours, but who am I do make the rules :) I was joined by Jodi, Jessica, Sara, Tyler, Todd, Paxton, Joel and Corey. I know I am missing at least one person but my brain was foggy so I am really sorry if I missed you.
About 11 hours into this race is when you can really start to get into a dark place. All of the 6 hour people have been done for 5 hours and are probably having a good meal and a beer. All of the 12 hour folks are just about to finish and are getting to the point where they can start to make the partial loops. You know that you still have 13 hours to go before you are done. This being my 2nd attempt at this race, I knew that this would be a "defining" moment for me. How was I going to respond? My feet felt good. My stomach was coming in and out of life. My legs felt somewhat trashed, but still able to move. I was drinking my Nuun really well. I had no real reason to be in a bad place, but this time is what defines how the night is going to go. I was in a good place at the moment but that changed a few hours later.
Byron had been struggling all day. I kept seeing him and he was having some cramping, knee problems, leg swelling, etc, but he was moving and it was great to see that. As he approached his 12 hours he was HUNGRY to hit the 50 miles. I could see it in his eyes. Looking back at his lap splits he was staying really controlled. After the first 5 or 6 lapse each lap took about 1 minute longer than the previous one, but for something like this that was OK. You always hear the phrase, "Don't do anything new on race day" and Byron broke that rule and I think he realized REALLY early on the mistake that he had made. He bought some calf sleeves that were a little too tight and put some pressure on some not great places. He realized it about 3 hours into the race and by that point the damage had already been done. 11 hours in and he was seeing the finish line. 50 was going to happen, but by how much? I kept checking on him with every lap near the end. As the buzzer went off for the 12 hour folks HE HAD DONE IT!!! 51 MILES!!! I was so happy for him, but knew that I couldn't celebrate for too long because I still had 12 hours to go. I gave him a quick hug and congratulations and just got moving.
I let all of the 12 hour folks filter out and was in desperate need of a wardrobe change as it was starting to get cold again. I couldn't believe that the temperature had swung as much as it had. I had gone from shorts and a t-shirt to needing a baselayer, midlayer and 2 jackets in a matter of no time. I know that part of it was that I was going slower and generating less heat but DANG it got cold really fast.
Chris does a great job with having some hot chicken noodle soup at the start/finish line for some sodium and calories, but that wasn't getting me nearly enough calories. My buddy Joel was in and out of the park. He was doing a great job trying to get me to eat but nothing looked or sounded good. I had been eating sandwiches, chips, bars, cookies, quesadillas, but would eat a couple of bites and throw them away because they were wreaking havoc on my stomach. I was doing OK with the Honey Stinger gels and chews that I had brought but at 100-160 calories I wasn't able to make up the deficit that I was in. So everything that I "ate" that night came down to that wonderful canned condensed soup :)
I went through some really low points during the night. There were times where I was going to call it quits, but had to remember that I had already quit during a race at the beginning of the year and I was not going to spend the next 6 months with that on my conscience again. Quitting wasn't an option, but about 2:00am I almost made the call.
I was just feeling generally crappy. My stomach was a mess and not looking like it was going to rally. After attempting to take a nap last year at the race I knew that sleeping probably wasn't going to happen, but I really just wanted to sit down and get warm. So I told Chris that I was going to get in my car and rest. I set an alarm and just sat. No music on the radio. I just sat…didn't move…I literally…just….sat. I was trying to make my stomach think that I was done. I knew that at 3:00 Corey would be showing up and I would get moving again, but sitting felt so good. The warmth of the heater in my car was blowing on my face and it felt magical. I remember looking at the clock at 2:25 with my stomach revolting against me and picking up my phone. I was going to call Corey and tell him not to come. In my mind, the race was over. There was no way I was going to take another step. I sent him a text to ask if he was still coming and his response was rapid that he was on his way. That vibration of my phone was the moment that I snapped out of it. I was hydrating, I was peeing (sorry for the TMI), I was still able to move. One year ago I was running this race for his son. This year I was doing it for me and to show people that you can get kicked in the stomach, but if your legs have not fallen off or you are not seriously wounded, you can keep moving. And…we…did….
The hours kept going by. We would stop. I would roll my legs out. I would get something to drink. We would chat with some people who were still out and we just kept moving. I sat in the car twice and took two short 15 minute power naps and just kept moving. Chris told me at one point that a lot of people bailed really early in the day because their stomachs weren't cooperating. That was a huge confidence boost that I needed because my stomach was so wrecked. Although my goal was gone this was the first race that I didn't have a pity party. I stayed positive and I think that kept me pushing.
7:00 rolled around and this is when it was go time. One hour left and time to make those out-and-backs. Down 1/8 mile, turn around and come back. This is what I did for the next hour. I was currently in 3rd place for total miles and 3rd place for Equalized miles but the people who were in 4th & 5th (who coincidentally were from Canada) had just gotten out of their car from napping and were moving. After about 14 hours of not running a step, I was going to give it a go again because I didn't want them to beat me. For the first time in 14 hours of movement, I ran. It felt great. I felt fresh. I felt incredible and then………I felt something……..in my achilles. Oh crap. What the hell did I just do? It was a snap, crackle, pop like I had never felt before. Did I just snap my damn achilles with 30 minutes to go and 3rd place on the line? I pulled off to the side of the trail and noticed a knot right above where my shoe was on the heel. I pushed on it and it hurt like hell, but good news was I didn't feel anything that felt separated!!! Just keep moving. Get it checked later. You got this!!! (it was fine by the way)
As I saw my friends from Canada come in after making a full lap I knew that 3rd and 4th place for the Equalizer was done. I was going to finish with 3rd place for total miles, 5th place with the Equalizer and I was OK with that. I had a terrible day, but I battled for every step of the 85.5 miles that I covered that day.
My wife and my girls were all there with me at the end and that was what mattered. I got to show my kids once again that sometimes life doesn't go according to plan. You can train your whole life for something but one tiny thing (like weather) can throw your training out the window. It comes down to how you handle yourself that defines the moment.
For anyone considering something like this race, I would say DO IT!!! Chris and the volunteers are amazing and put on a great, low budget, runner friendly race without sponsors or frills. It is one of those races that I don't see it drawing thousands of people, but that is great because you come back year after year and see a lot of the same faces and get the chance to re-connect with people that you may only see once a year. It is fantastic and I don't see myself missing it for many years to come.
I am so thankful for my family and friends who support this stupid thing I do. My main goal with ultras is to show people how much potential they really have. I have been dealt some crappy races, but I know that God has given me the ability to work through adversity and come out a winner on the other end. Don't take this body and life for granted. Live Epic…….
As always, I want to thank my family (Mrs Messenjah, Lil' Red, Mini Me and for the first time in a race report my new little one known as The Bean), UVU Racing for providing me clothes that kept me comfortable all day, all of my friends and family who support me. I want to thank Chris and all of the volunteers who stay up for 24+ hours to listen to us runners whine about everything. I want to thank my UVU teammates for sending me text messages all night just reminding me to keep moving. Lastly I want to thank my God for giving me a body that can take this much abuse and come out on the other end with a great story.
Stay Strong, Run Long
Tha Messenjah
Things I used at the 2014 Equalizer Endurance Run (24 Hour)
The lead up to the race was like most. I was on a 2 week "taper", but when I say "taper" I basically mean no running due to some weird hip problem that I was having. I wasn't going to come into this race and have to pull the plug early because I was overtrained and hurt. After the fiasco that was the Zumbro 100 in the spring I was going at this race for the long haul. Basically I spent 2 weeks continuing to due some strength training/cross training workouts and stretching like I've never stretched before. I was eating well. Drinking a lot. Trying to get as much sleep as I could, but about a week and a half out I started to get a tickle in my throat. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Not now. I can't get sick. This race is going to be horrible if I get sick!!!! I started taking vitamins, drinking OJ, drinking more water. Everything I could possibly think of to ward off a cold. We'll see if it works.
Race week is always tough. Having not raced anything in over 6 months, I was surprisingly not nervous about the running as much as I was about the other things in my life that have become more important. Family, work, the running club, etc. I was uncharacteristically nervous more about showing up to the race healthy than I was about running. It was weird because typically I spend several nights beforehand pacing around the house wondering if I had trained enough, what I was going to do at "mile X", my clothes, blah blah blah. But this time was different. When I had the opportunity to sit down and think it wasn't so much about the race but about getting "the systems" to cooperate with each other. This really isn't something I've had to deal with in the past and it really had me concerned. Race day kit assembled and car packed on Thursday night, I was ready to go.
As per usual, with the Equalizer, the night before the race was spent with some friends hanging out at our pre-race dinner. This is really one of the beautiful parts of this race. Every year, on Friday night, the RD coordinates a dinner where the racers can come to just relax before the big event the next morning. It is a great opportunity for you to just sit down in a casual setting and meet some new friends. I was lucky this year to have my buddy Byron with me (as we was running the 12 hour) and got to meet people from all over the state. Some who had run this event in the past and some who were doing their very first ultra-type event.
After dinner and a kicking back a couple of beers with Byron, his family and my bunch I settled in for the evening but knew it wasn't going to be a night filled with grand visions in my dreams as earlier in the day, the stratchy throat became a full on cold. Awesome….. Here is to a sleepless night.
Race morning came. I had my oatmeal with peanut butter and jelly…..yep, you read that right….peanut butter and jelly mixed straight in to the oatmeal….don't knock it until you've tried it….heaven in a bowl… a couple of cups of coffee and I was out the door to pick up Byron. Now, if you know me, if I say "I'll pick you up a little before 7" that typically translates into "I'll pick you up far before you are supposed to be ready" which on this day, it did. Sorry Byron :)
We got down to the lake with no issues. Now, normally people really relish in the opportunity for a morning with no problems. From my experience from the 2013 Equalizer, those mornings scare the heck out of me. Camp was set, my prayer flags for my UVU racing manager Basti had been laid out, final directions and instructions from Chris had been said and we were off.
Then all of a sudden, about 4 hours in it started to get hot. HOT?!?!? This is October. It's not supposed to be getting hot around noon?!?!?! For the second time in a year (and only my 2nd race of the year) I was going to have to deal with heat I wasn't ready for!!!! I had been training with the anticipation that it was going to be cold. GRRRRR!!!!! But just as predicted the high for the day hit 73 degrees by 3:00 pm.
Notice all of the salt? :)
I tried to remember and focus on eating, drinking and moving, but things were starting to go south since I wasn't ready for the heat. This was my 7th ultra and I still haven't quite mastered the art of "You still need to continue to eat". For me, what happens is I start to get nauseous and then know that if I eat, I'm going to throw up. If I throw up, there goes those calories that I've already eaten and I couldn't afford to lose any more calories. But 22 miles into the race, BOOM!!! There goes my stomach again….. "Just keep moving and drinking" is what I kept telling myself. I didn't want to get dehydrated again and have to deal with the side effects of that. That's not pretty. When you are already battling a cold (which requires you hydrate better) and you are racing and combined with a warm day it was going to be a looooooong day.
Aside from having a terribly sour stomach, I was in good spirits although you might not be able to tell from my tweets below :)
As the miles ticked away, I was joined by a lot of great friends and had some really great conversations. This is one of the things that I absolutely love about this race and I hope NEVER goes away. Chris does a great job allowing "pacers" during the race. Personally, I think pacers should only be allowed for the 12 or 24 hour participants and after 6 hours, but who am I do make the rules :) I was joined by Jodi, Jessica, Sara, Tyler, Todd, Paxton, Joel and Corey. I know I am missing at least one person but my brain was foggy so I am really sorry if I missed you.
About 11 hours into this race is when you can really start to get into a dark place. All of the 6 hour people have been done for 5 hours and are probably having a good meal and a beer. All of the 12 hour folks are just about to finish and are getting to the point where they can start to make the partial loops. You know that you still have 13 hours to go before you are done. This being my 2nd attempt at this race, I knew that this would be a "defining" moment for me. How was I going to respond? My feet felt good. My stomach was coming in and out of life. My legs felt somewhat trashed, but still able to move. I was drinking my Nuun really well. I had no real reason to be in a bad place, but this time is what defines how the night is going to go. I was in a good place at the moment but that changed a few hours later.
Byron had been struggling all day. I kept seeing him and he was having some cramping, knee problems, leg swelling, etc, but he was moving and it was great to see that. As he approached his 12 hours he was HUNGRY to hit the 50 miles. I could see it in his eyes. Looking back at his lap splits he was staying really controlled. After the first 5 or 6 lapse each lap took about 1 minute longer than the previous one, but for something like this that was OK. You always hear the phrase, "Don't do anything new on race day" and Byron broke that rule and I think he realized REALLY early on the mistake that he had made. He bought some calf sleeves that were a little too tight and put some pressure on some not great places. He realized it about 3 hours into the race and by that point the damage had already been done. 11 hours in and he was seeing the finish line. 50 was going to happen, but by how much? I kept checking on him with every lap near the end. As the buzzer went off for the 12 hour folks HE HAD DONE IT!!! 51 MILES!!! I was so happy for him, but knew that I couldn't celebrate for too long because I still had 12 hours to go. I gave him a quick hug and congratulations and just got moving.
I let all of the 12 hour folks filter out and was in desperate need of a wardrobe change as it was starting to get cold again. I couldn't believe that the temperature had swung as much as it had. I had gone from shorts and a t-shirt to needing a baselayer, midlayer and 2 jackets in a matter of no time. I know that part of it was that I was going slower and generating less heat but DANG it got cold really fast.
Chris does a great job with having some hot chicken noodle soup at the start/finish line for some sodium and calories, but that wasn't getting me nearly enough calories. My buddy Joel was in and out of the park. He was doing a great job trying to get me to eat but nothing looked or sounded good. I had been eating sandwiches, chips, bars, cookies, quesadillas, but would eat a couple of bites and throw them away because they were wreaking havoc on my stomach. I was doing OK with the Honey Stinger gels and chews that I had brought but at 100-160 calories I wasn't able to make up the deficit that I was in. So everything that I "ate" that night came down to that wonderful canned condensed soup :)
I was just feeling generally crappy. My stomach was a mess and not looking like it was going to rally. After attempting to take a nap last year at the race I knew that sleeping probably wasn't going to happen, but I really just wanted to sit down and get warm. So I told Chris that I was going to get in my car and rest. I set an alarm and just sat. No music on the radio. I just sat…didn't move…I literally…just….sat. I was trying to make my stomach think that I was done. I knew that at 3:00 Corey would be showing up and I would get moving again, but sitting felt so good. The warmth of the heater in my car was blowing on my face and it felt magical. I remember looking at the clock at 2:25 with my stomach revolting against me and picking up my phone. I was going to call Corey and tell him not to come. In my mind, the race was over. There was no way I was going to take another step. I sent him a text to ask if he was still coming and his response was rapid that he was on his way. That vibration of my phone was the moment that I snapped out of it. I was hydrating, I was peeing (sorry for the TMI), I was still able to move. One year ago I was running this race for his son. This year I was doing it for me and to show people that you can get kicked in the stomach, but if your legs have not fallen off or you are not seriously wounded, you can keep moving. And…we…did….
The hours kept going by. We would stop. I would roll my legs out. I would get something to drink. We would chat with some people who were still out and we just kept moving. I sat in the car twice and took two short 15 minute power naps and just kept moving. Chris told me at one point that a lot of people bailed really early in the day because their stomachs weren't cooperating. That was a huge confidence boost that I needed because my stomach was so wrecked. Although my goal was gone this was the first race that I didn't have a pity party. I stayed positive and I think that kept me pushing.
As I saw my friends from Canada come in after making a full lap I knew that 3rd and 4th place for the Equalizer was done. I was going to finish with 3rd place for total miles, 5th place with the Equalizer and I was OK with that. I had a terrible day, but I battled for every step of the 85.5 miles that I covered that day.
I am so thankful for my family and friends who support this stupid thing I do. My main goal with ultras is to show people how much potential they really have. I have been dealt some crappy races, but I know that God has given me the ability to work through adversity and come out a winner on the other end. Don't take this body and life for granted. Live Epic…….
As always, I want to thank my family (Mrs Messenjah, Lil' Red, Mini Me and for the first time in a race report my new little one known as The Bean), UVU Racing for providing me clothes that kept me comfortable all day, all of my friends and family who support me. I want to thank Chris and all of the volunteers who stay up for 24+ hours to listen to us runners whine about everything. I want to thank my UVU teammates for sending me text messages all night just reminding me to keep moving. Lastly I want to thank my God for giving me a body that can take this much abuse and come out on the other end with a great story.
Stay Strong, Run Long
Tha Messenjah
Things I used at the 2014 Equalizer Endurance Run (24 Hour)
UVU Vim Race Tee
UVU Vim Race Shorts
UVU Brio Vest and Jacket
UVU Air Jacket (this thing is freaking awesome)
HOKA ONE ONE Stinson Tarmac
HOKA ONE ONE Bondi 3
HOKA ONE ONE Stinson Tarmac
HOKA ONE ONE Bondi 3
Injinji Performance Run 2.0 Lightweight Mini-Crew (Yes...toe socks)
Nuun Active Hydration (Lemon Lime is my favorite!!!)
Random food and drink items and this wonderful beauty :)
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