My First DNF.............
Anyone who truly knows me knows that I don't quit easily. Example...I once worked as a telemarketer for 5 years!!!! Yes...5 years getting hung up on, called every name in the book, screamed at and told that I was the lowest form of human life ever created. But as much as that job sucked, I was very good at it. I also think that it was one of those experiences in my life that taught me, no matter how rough and tough life is, it does in fact get better with time. I definitely had a reminder of that this past weekend.
For those who don't know, Mrs Messenjah is having a baby coming up in a few short months and I couldn't be more thrilled. I think that I am more nervously excited for this child than the other 2. With Mini Me I went into the baby having confidence because Lil Red was only 2 when she was born. When Lil Red was born I went into it confident and a head full of steam. Kids aren't that hard to deal with. I've worked with kids before. "I got this". Just another example of this past weekend.
Why do I tell you both of these stories? Well, with the Mrs having another baby I knew that I was going to be out of the "racing scene" for a little while. My husbanding and parenting comes first over this silly sport. But with that I went into the Zumbro 100 Mile Endurance Run confident and with an attitude of "I've run trail ultras before. 'I got this'"...More to come on that in a minute.
I have been planning and training for this race for many months now. I had talked one of my best buds, Byron, into coming with me on my send off to racing in a big way. Byron has come into his own in the running scene. He has gotten really involved with racing and it is really cool to see. When I had told him that the 100 needed to be done before the baby came his response was, "fine, but you have to find a race that has a 50 mile too." I'm sorry. Did you just say that you wanted to run 50?
Training in Iowa in the winter is not fun. I'm not sure if you've heard, but we had a "Polar Vortex" this year which brought one of the coldest January, February and March in the history of the world...OK...maybe not in the history of the world. There was that thing that scientist are claiming froze the earth at one point but that's neither here nor there. Regardless, it was freaking COLD all winter. I trained as much as I physically could in the cold, but I was forced indoors more than I would have liked. Overall though my training was BLAH. But I've done 100k spring race on the trails. "I got this".
A couple of weeks before the race I was constantly checking weather, trail conditions, blah blah blah and just trying to get psyched up for the longest race I had ever done. The one beautiful thing about Zumbro is the 100 has a 34 hour cutoff. No big deal. My goal was to finish within cutoff. That's 20:00/mile...3 miles and hours. "I got this".
Race week comes and I don't sleep. Now, some people say, "Oh, I didn't sleep at all last night" but they really got 5-6 hours of "sleep". When I talk about not sleeping, I am talking less than 3 hours per night because my mind is constantly racing. There were a few mornings where I saw the clock hit Midnight and got up at 3:00am and just looked at the ceiling. After about and hour I found myself just getting up and doing yoga or reading. It's pointless to lay there.
I took the day off on Thursday as Byron and I were going to try and get to the campground early to get a good spot. We had great plans of getting there, setting everything up, driving over to Wisconsin to get some New Glarus beers and just relaxing. Little did we know that there was a 30mph head wind that was going to prevent the "early" thing since we were in a truck pulling a huge camper. Nearly 6 hours later (for a 4 hour drive) we finally make it. When the website said that the campground was rustic, it means rustic. We didn't really think about it but Minnesota in April means that the ground could still potentially be frozen which in turn means that no water pumps are on for us to fill the camper for showering. Ooops.
We get the camper all situated in the back of the park, walk over to packet pickup, have a chat with some of the volunteers and make our way to one of the neatest small towns on the Mississippi River. Nelson, WI to buy our frosty treats for celebrating our trip. Come to find out, when you go to WI to by craft beer you can actually purchase it at a Cheese Factory. Irony at it's finest. The lady on the phone was super sweet when we couldn't find it. In typical Mid-West fashion, she told us that they were located next to a gas station, across the street from the bank and before you get to the railroad tracks. When asked what the name of the street was that it was located, her response, "I don't remember. we are located next to a gas station, across the street from the bank and before you get to the railroad tracks".
Once we got back to the park, I wanted to go for a little walk to get a look at the big climb that happens in the first mile. On paper, this thing is huge. In real life it's unreal. As an Iowa raised boy, you don't see hills like this where I'm from. We hiked up it and finally got a chance to take in the amazing view and got a glimpse of the course that you can't get from race photos. Absolutely amazing!!
We made our way back down, had a couple of beers, a bite to eat, I taped my feet so I wouldn't have to in the morning and laid down. Now I say laid down because there was very little sleep that actually happened. I saw 3:00 on my watch before I was woken up by my alarm at 6:00am. Time to get up and get ready.
The atmosphere before the race is very low key. With 57 100 milers starting there wasn't a heck of a lot of people around. I ate my Clif bar, had some Peet's coffee, which was incredible, and before I knew it we were lining up for our pre-race instructions. I love the few minutes before the start of ultras. There is excitement but you can tell that people are just trying to stay calm. It's not like the start of 5k's, 10k's, half's or marathons. There isn't a lot of stretching. There isn't a lot of bouncing. There isn't a lot of nervous energy. It is a truly calm before the storm. You can tell the people that run this race love it. There was a lot of "Hey!! How are you??" and "How was X race?" and "How is your husband doing?". This race is a gathering of friends and family. It's truly like no other event I've been to.
After some instructions, some encouragement from the RD John and a very poorly told attempt at a joke (sorry John), we were off. Slow. Steady. Calm. 100 miles isn't that far (thanks Karl Meltzer). It's the mantra that I just kept repeating.
One of the cool things about this race is the fact that you don't "start" on single track. You go down a small jeep road before you get to the trail. It's really nice because it allows everyone to spread out a bit so you don't get backed up into a conga line. Now, you do jump on it within the first 1/4 of a mile or so but pretty soon you are right back off and on to jeep road again. But once you get on to the jeep road that's when the first climb starts. The first time up, I felt incredible. No labored breathing, legs felt fresh. Good overall. Once you get to the peak you are about a mile in. At this point in the race it's REALLY hard not to stand there and just gaze off into the distance. You almost forget you are in a race and that you will see this view 35 more times (6 loops with 6 big peaks).
I got into a really great group of people. I started out with a girl named Breanna who was currently a student in Michigan and I think I remember her saying that this was her 10th 100 miler (she later was one of the few to finish). She was super bubbly and happy. I wish that I could have captured her smile and her laughter to keep me motivated during the tough day I was in store for. The next 7 miles or so I hung with a guy named Brian. We've since then connected on Facebook but we had some great conversations on races, craft beer, his daughter playing basketball, some of his travels, etc. It was really awesome since he knew a lot of people at the race and I literally knew no one. I knew this race was going to be rough when he told me that had DNF'd here a couple of times before but he'd run Superior 100 a number of times and finished....Wait, I've heard that this race is sometimes referred to as "Baby Superior".....damn!!!
We ran past the first with no stop. We were only 3 miles in so I really didn't need any fuel. I had a few gels and knew that the 2nd AS was just a mere 5 miles away which is where my drop bag was. About and hour or so into the race I was starting to get hot. I took off my jacket, pulled down my arm sleeves and just tried to stay cool. I had heard that it was supposed to warm up but for some reason after losing all of the weight that I have I get really cold while running.
AS 2 was right where I needed it to be. I grabbed some food, some drink, filled up my pack and was back out within 3 minutes. My goal was to fill my pack at the start/finish and AS 2 on every lap. I was also going to eat at every aid station and, depending on the length between, take a minimum of one gel between AS's. So far, so good.
AS 2-3 has some very significant hills with some covered trails. It was a little difficult to see during the day but I figured when you get more people through some of the leaves and debris will be smashed or kicked out of the way so I followed a very nice lady named Kathy. She was incredibly focused and wanted nothing to do with chatting. I was totally OK with this, but I was so excited that I could hardly contain it. She told me at one point that she wasn't really a talkative runner and I tried my best to stay quiet, but I am pretty sure I annoyed her...Sorry Kathy...When you get past the gnarly terrain on this portion of the trail you have to deal with sand...yes...sand...and it's thick. I was warned ahead of time about the sand but didn't think there would be this much and for as long as we were on it. It is is a ways and really hard to run on.
When we got back to AS 3 here is where I made the mistake that to this day I think totally did me in. I was eating at every AS so far. Pretzels, coke, PB&J, chips or whatever looked good. I was supplementing between with Clif gels. I have been a fan of Clif products for many years. I feel that, for me, they are the best gel or chew out there. There are plenty of other people who can stomach GU, Hammer, Honey Stinger, etc. For me there is something about the Clif gels that doesn't TRASH my stomach. AS 2/3 is a shared AS and where I had my drop bag, but it was on the other side so I didn't want to bother with it. I grabbed one of the Hammer gels that were being offered and just left. I saw it and thought, "eh, I can manage one of these". When you come out of 3 you have a climb that doesn't stop. It goes up, and up, and up until you think you've reached the sky. Then when you think that you've gotten to the top and you will be heading down soon, you climb some more. These climbs are not just your normal run of the mill climbs either. Rocks on top of rocks. Debris covering boulders. Roots. Rutted out trail from the horses. You name it.
Once I got to the top of the climb and knew that I would be heading down soon, I took the gel. I headed down "Ant Hill" and the gel made it's way down into my belly. As soon as it hit, it unleashed it's fury on my guts. It was like I was dying from the inside out. To make a very long story short, that lasted for another 40 miles....
Eating was something I didn't want to do. Running made it worse and downhill was fueling the inferno so I walked and tried not to throw up. I've heard that if you CAN in fact throw up you will feel much better, but I haven't non-hung over thrown up since I was a kid. For the next 10 hours or so I tried. I tried doing the finger trick. I even went as far as sticking my finger in mud and then down my throat thinking that would start something but all was for not.
Once you make it down Ant Hill you are on a long gravel road section for about 3 miles. This distance could be off a bit, but that's what it felt like. I get back to AS 1/4 and knew that the rest of the day was going to be tough. I grabbed some coke thinking that might help but no. AS 4 to the start/finish was probably my favorite section. It has some really nice rolling hills. A few small climbs compared to the other monsters, but really comfortable.
When I got back to the campground, all I could think was that the day wasn't going to go as planned. I had 3 goals in mind when I started:
1) Finish
2) 28 hours
3) Fastest Iowan to ever finish
But from the way I felt, #1 was going to be a challenge.
I came in to the start/finish ahead of my plan so that was a glimmer of hope. I shed my jacket, told Byron about the course and how I was feeling, re-filled my pack, tried to choke down some food and was out in less than 7 minutes.
The next 2 laps were pretty uneventful. Hiking, a little running, stopping at aid stations to complain about my stomach, joking around with some of the best volunteers, more hiking, sitting in chairs, crying about how bad my stomach hurt, more hiking, trying to puke, more crying, more sitting, etc.
I came in after my 3rd lap just mentally, emotionally and physically destroyed. It was about 11:00pm and when I came in I was carrying my homemade "trekking poles" (just some branches that I found on the ground). Byron told me later that he didn't even realize it was me because of my "poles". I wasn't having fun anymore but I saw a glimmer of hope. My friend Jessica who is a certifiable bad-ass. Look up the Gnarly Bandit Series, yeah, she did that last year. She DNF'd her first attempt at Zumbro a few years ago and fought through the snow/ice in 2013 to finish. If there is anyone that has proven this can get done, she was it.
She fed me some chicken noodle soup, gave me some tough words of wisdom and told me that she brought her kit so she would run with me on the 5th loop. That was good news. I was going to have a pacer finally. I sat and warmed up for 25 minutes, got some warm clothes on and left. Now, I had been trying to throw up for more than 10 hours with no success. I got 2 miles into the 4th lap and everything that was in my stomach came flooding out. In the light of my headlamp, it looked like a scene out of a really gross horror movie. Noodles, Clif bar, water, oranges, everything. Everywhere. SUCCESS!!! I THREW UP!!! Now time to start getting stuff back into my stomach. One problem. I had 1/2 of a Clif bar in my pocket, which I had just seen the other 1/2 come back out. And one gel to make it another 2 miles, but I felt INCREDIBLE and I did something I hadn't done in almost 10 hours. I ran for those next 2 miles. Everything felt great again. I felt like I was flying.
I got to AS 1, told them that I had thrown up, to an overwhelming applause, grabbed a handful of pretzels, downed some coke and headed back out. 4 minutes. That's all I took at that AS. I was back!!....only to have my butt handed back to me again over the next 4.3 miles. This section, was by far, the worst I felt for a very long time. It took over 2 hours to go 4 miles. Everything was starting to hurt. My feet, my knees, my back, my toes, everything. To add insult to injury, I started getting passed by the 50 mile runners. They passed, gave encouraging words, told me that I looked great (at one point I told somebody that I looked great because it was dark and they couldn't see) and had no energy. That handful of pretzels, coke and clif bar were trying to make up for several hours of constant burning of fuel. I was out. Zapped.
I got back into AS2. Sat down and admitted to defeat. For the next hour I sat by the fire essentially fighting with one of the best AS captains I have ever met about not taking off my bib. I was cold, not keeping food in, nothing tasted good and I was completely wiped out. He begged me not to take off the bib, but after an hour I jumped on the back of an ATV for a very long, bumpy ride back to AS 1. Upon my arrival the crew organized a ride back to the start/finish and I was greeted by John (the RD). Told him what was going on and chatted for a bit back to the start/finish. We pulled up in front of the camper and I could tell he didn't want to ask me, but I handed him my bib. D......N.........F............
I went into the camper and laid down for a couple of hours. My mind was racing. My body was shaking from being cold but I knew that I needed to get back out and be a part of the event. I had traveled all of this way and people had given me so much at the other AS's. This was my chance to give back. I threw on some warm clothes and for the next 10 hours helped with food, helped get runners changed, offered words of encouragement. I got to see tears of glory and tears of defeat when others had to make the same decision I did. When you work at AS's or at the start/finish of a race of this nature, you get to see the best and worst in people. People run in on a total high from completing their goal and others break down from exhaustion and grief.
Several hours had gone by, I had seen Byron in from his 2nd loop, offered some advice and walked with him as he set out on his 3rd. 3:00pm goes by and I started to get worried. Where was he? He hadn't checked into AS 3. Is he hurt? Is he sleeping? What's going on? Finally around 3:45 I went and checked the trailer one last time. "Oh, yeah he checked into AS 4 about 30 minutes ago. He should be here anytime. There came the excitement I was waiting for all day. My good friend was about to finish his FIRST 50 MILE ULTRA!!!
I walked down to where I could see down a jeep road. I didn't want to go too far, but asked a couple of people along the way "Have you seen a guy in a bright orange jacket?". I got a few responses, "Oh yeah, I passed him about 5 minutes back. He's on his way". Before I knew it, there he was. Hobbling like a broken human being carrying his own "trekking pole" in one hand. He was going to make it!!! I screamed for him and he shouted back some profanities. I'm not real sure what it was but it made me laugh. We met up, he told me not to hug him and we just walked. When we came into the park I broke away from him and walked ahead. This was his moment. I didn't want to spoil him crossing that finish line by himself. He had pushed his own personal limits to finish. I gave him a HUGE hug and we sat down. I won't bore you anymore with the details, but we packed up the camper and left to go grab a bite to eat, some beer and a hot shower.
The next day and a half was spent analyzing the race with him. What worked for him. What didn't. What I should have done differently. What I will do at my next 100. It was amazing to see the elation in his demeanor on the drive home as he called his wife and spoke to a co-worker. It was incredible.
A few days have passed and I have truly come to terms with my first DNF. I've read that your worst races make for the best stories and this will surely have some great stories. Yeah, I spent a few days moping around the house about how crappy things went, but at the end of the day, it was only a race. I got to come home to my beautiful wife, watched TV cuddled up with my kids and slept in my own bed. I feel that if I hadn't made the decision to call it quits when I did who knows what could have happened. I may have finished. I may not have. There are a lot of "what if's" but when it comes down to my experience I couldn't have asked for a better one.
I want to thank all of the runners at Zumbro 100. You all are amazing people. To the 23 finishers, I salute you!! Thank you to ALL of the volunteers. You are what makes this race so incredible. Some of you spent days working behind the scenes just to see people cry, fix blisters, fill bottles and packs and hear the horror stories. You are all amazing people. To John, his wife (sorry I don't remember your name) and the other organizers, THANK YOU!!! My personal race was hell, but I will recommend any races from RockSteadyRunning to anyone.
As always, I need to thank my God for getting me to the start line. I spent a lot of time in prayer during this race but I know now that he had bigger plans for me on the day than finishing that race. I want to thank my wife for her continued support, my kids for being awesome (they both won their soccer games while dad was out running in the woods), my friends and family.
We are all blessed to live in a country where we can take part in events where we push our bodies to the point of complete annihilation and I love it. See you out on the trails!!!
STAY STRONG, RUN LONG
THA MESSENJAH
Things I used at Zumbro 100
Brooks Cascadia 8 - No longer in production (33 miles)
HOKA ONE ONE Bondi 3 - 24 miles
Merrell Buff
Other random shirts, jackets and and food.
For those who don't know, Mrs Messenjah is having a baby coming up in a few short months and I couldn't be more thrilled. I think that I am more nervously excited for this child than the other 2. With Mini Me I went into the baby having confidence because Lil Red was only 2 when she was born. When Lil Red was born I went into it confident and a head full of steam. Kids aren't that hard to deal with. I've worked with kids before. "I got this". Just another example of this past weekend.
Why do I tell you both of these stories? Well, with the Mrs having another baby I knew that I was going to be out of the "racing scene" for a little while. My husbanding and parenting comes first over this silly sport. But with that I went into the Zumbro 100 Mile Endurance Run confident and with an attitude of "I've run trail ultras before. 'I got this'"...More to come on that in a minute.
I have been planning and training for this race for many months now. I had talked one of my best buds, Byron, into coming with me on my send off to racing in a big way. Byron has come into his own in the running scene. He has gotten really involved with racing and it is really cool to see. When I had told him that the 100 needed to be done before the baby came his response was, "fine, but you have to find a race that has a 50 mile too." I'm sorry. Did you just say that you wanted to run 50?
Training in Iowa in the winter is not fun. I'm not sure if you've heard, but we had a "Polar Vortex" this year which brought one of the coldest January, February and March in the history of the world...OK...maybe not in the history of the world. There was that thing that scientist are claiming froze the earth at one point but that's neither here nor there. Regardless, it was freaking COLD all winter. I trained as much as I physically could in the cold, but I was forced indoors more than I would have liked. Overall though my training was BLAH. But I've done 100k spring race on the trails. "I got this".
A couple of weeks before the race I was constantly checking weather, trail conditions, blah blah blah and just trying to get psyched up for the longest race I had ever done. The one beautiful thing about Zumbro is the 100 has a 34 hour cutoff. No big deal. My goal was to finish within cutoff. That's 20:00/mile...3 miles and hours. "I got this".
Race week comes and I don't sleep. Now, some people say, "Oh, I didn't sleep at all last night" but they really got 5-6 hours of "sleep". When I talk about not sleeping, I am talking less than 3 hours per night because my mind is constantly racing. There were a few mornings where I saw the clock hit Midnight and got up at 3:00am and just looked at the ceiling. After about and hour I found myself just getting up and doing yoga or reading. It's pointless to lay there.
I took the day off on Thursday as Byron and I were going to try and get to the campground early to get a good spot. We had great plans of getting there, setting everything up, driving over to Wisconsin to get some New Glarus beers and just relaxing. Little did we know that there was a 30mph head wind that was going to prevent the "early" thing since we were in a truck pulling a huge camper. Nearly 6 hours later (for a 4 hour drive) we finally make it. When the website said that the campground was rustic, it means rustic. We didn't really think about it but Minnesota in April means that the ground could still potentially be frozen which in turn means that no water pumps are on for us to fill the camper for showering. Ooops.
We get the camper all situated in the back of the park, walk over to packet pickup, have a chat with some of the volunteers and make our way to one of the neatest small towns on the Mississippi River. Nelson, WI to buy our frosty treats for celebrating our trip. Come to find out, when you go to WI to by craft beer you can actually purchase it at a Cheese Factory. Irony at it's finest. The lady on the phone was super sweet when we couldn't find it. In typical Mid-West fashion, she told us that they were located next to a gas station, across the street from the bank and before you get to the railroad tracks. When asked what the name of the street was that it was located, her response, "I don't remember. we are located next to a gas station, across the street from the bank and before you get to the railroad tracks".
Once we got back to the park, I wanted to go for a little walk to get a look at the big climb that happens in the first mile. On paper, this thing is huge. In real life it's unreal. As an Iowa raised boy, you don't see hills like this where I'm from. We hiked up it and finally got a chance to take in the amazing view and got a glimpse of the course that you can't get from race photos. Absolutely amazing!!
We made our way back down, had a couple of beers, a bite to eat, I taped my feet so I wouldn't have to in the morning and laid down. Now I say laid down because there was very little sleep that actually happened. I saw 3:00 on my watch before I was woken up by my alarm at 6:00am. Time to get up and get ready.
The atmosphere before the race is very low key. With 57 100 milers starting there wasn't a heck of a lot of people around. I ate my Clif bar, had some Peet's coffee, which was incredible, and before I knew it we were lining up for our pre-race instructions. I love the few minutes before the start of ultras. There is excitement but you can tell that people are just trying to stay calm. It's not like the start of 5k's, 10k's, half's or marathons. There isn't a lot of stretching. There isn't a lot of bouncing. There isn't a lot of nervous energy. It is a truly calm before the storm. You can tell the people that run this race love it. There was a lot of "Hey!! How are you??" and "How was X race?" and "How is your husband doing?". This race is a gathering of friends and family. It's truly like no other event I've been to.
After some instructions, some encouragement from the RD John and a very poorly told attempt at a joke (sorry John), we were off. Slow. Steady. Calm. 100 miles isn't that far (thanks Karl Meltzer). It's the mantra that I just kept repeating.
One of the cool things about this race is the fact that you don't "start" on single track. You go down a small jeep road before you get to the trail. It's really nice because it allows everyone to spread out a bit so you don't get backed up into a conga line. Now, you do jump on it within the first 1/4 of a mile or so but pretty soon you are right back off and on to jeep road again. But once you get on to the jeep road that's when the first climb starts. The first time up, I felt incredible. No labored breathing, legs felt fresh. Good overall. Once you get to the peak you are about a mile in. At this point in the race it's REALLY hard not to stand there and just gaze off into the distance. You almost forget you are in a race and that you will see this view 35 more times (6 loops with 6 big peaks).
Photos found at Better Than a Stick in the Eye
Photos found at Better Than a Stick in the Eye
Photos found at Better Than a Stick in the Eye
DO NOT DOWNLOAD!! Photo courtesy of Zach Pierce Photography
We ran past the first with no stop. We were only 3 miles in so I really didn't need any fuel. I had a few gels and knew that the 2nd AS was just a mere 5 miles away which is where my drop bag was. About and hour or so into the race I was starting to get hot. I took off my jacket, pulled down my arm sleeves and just tried to stay cool. I had heard that it was supposed to warm up but for some reason after losing all of the weight that I have I get really cold while running.
AS 2 was right where I needed it to be. I grabbed some food, some drink, filled up my pack and was back out within 3 minutes. My goal was to fill my pack at the start/finish and AS 2 on every lap. I was also going to eat at every aid station and, depending on the length between, take a minimum of one gel between AS's. So far, so good.
AS 2-3 has some very significant hills with some covered trails. It was a little difficult to see during the day but I figured when you get more people through some of the leaves and debris will be smashed or kicked out of the way so I followed a very nice lady named Kathy. She was incredibly focused and wanted nothing to do with chatting. I was totally OK with this, but I was so excited that I could hardly contain it. She told me at one point that she wasn't really a talkative runner and I tried my best to stay quiet, but I am pretty sure I annoyed her...Sorry Kathy...When you get past the gnarly terrain on this portion of the trail you have to deal with sand...yes...sand...and it's thick. I was warned ahead of time about the sand but didn't think there would be this much and for as long as we were on it. It is is a ways and really hard to run on.
Photos found at Better Than a Stick in the Eye
When we got back to AS 3 here is where I made the mistake that to this day I think totally did me in. I was eating at every AS so far. Pretzels, coke, PB&J, chips or whatever looked good. I was supplementing between with Clif gels. I have been a fan of Clif products for many years. I feel that, for me, they are the best gel or chew out there. There are plenty of other people who can stomach GU, Hammer, Honey Stinger, etc. For me there is something about the Clif gels that doesn't TRASH my stomach. AS 2/3 is a shared AS and where I had my drop bag, but it was on the other side so I didn't want to bother with it. I grabbed one of the Hammer gels that were being offered and just left. I saw it and thought, "eh, I can manage one of these". When you come out of 3 you have a climb that doesn't stop. It goes up, and up, and up until you think you've reached the sky. Then when you think that you've gotten to the top and you will be heading down soon, you climb some more. These climbs are not just your normal run of the mill climbs either. Rocks on top of rocks. Debris covering boulders. Roots. Rutted out trail from the horses. You name it.
Photos found at Better Than a Stick in the Eye
Photos found at Better Than a Stick in the Eye
Once I got to the top of the climb and knew that I would be heading down soon, I took the gel. I headed down "Ant Hill" and the gel made it's way down into my belly. As soon as it hit, it unleashed it's fury on my guts. It was like I was dying from the inside out. To make a very long story short, that lasted for another 40 miles....
Eating was something I didn't want to do. Running made it worse and downhill was fueling the inferno so I walked and tried not to throw up. I've heard that if you CAN in fact throw up you will feel much better, but I haven't non-hung over thrown up since I was a kid. For the next 10 hours or so I tried. I tried doing the finger trick. I even went as far as sticking my finger in mud and then down my throat thinking that would start something but all was for not.
Once you make it down Ant Hill you are on a long gravel road section for about 3 miles. This distance could be off a bit, but that's what it felt like. I get back to AS 1/4 and knew that the rest of the day was going to be tough. I grabbed some coke thinking that might help but no. AS 4 to the start/finish was probably my favorite section. It has some really nice rolling hills. A few small climbs compared to the other monsters, but really comfortable.
When I got back to the campground, all I could think was that the day wasn't going to go as planned. I had 3 goals in mind when I started:
1) Finish
2) 28 hours
3) Fastest Iowan to ever finish
But from the way I felt, #1 was going to be a challenge.
I came in to the start/finish ahead of my plan so that was a glimmer of hope. I shed my jacket, told Byron about the course and how I was feeling, re-filled my pack, tried to choke down some food and was out in less than 7 minutes.
The next 2 laps were pretty uneventful. Hiking, a little running, stopping at aid stations to complain about my stomach, joking around with some of the best volunteers, more hiking, sitting in chairs, crying about how bad my stomach hurt, more hiking, trying to puke, more crying, more sitting, etc.
I came in after my 3rd lap just mentally, emotionally and physically destroyed. It was about 11:00pm and when I came in I was carrying my homemade "trekking poles" (just some branches that I found on the ground). Byron told me later that he didn't even realize it was me because of my "poles". I wasn't having fun anymore but I saw a glimmer of hope. My friend Jessica who is a certifiable bad-ass. Look up the Gnarly Bandit Series, yeah, she did that last year. She DNF'd her first attempt at Zumbro a few years ago and fought through the snow/ice in 2013 to finish. If there is anyone that has proven this can get done, she was it.
She fed me some chicken noodle soup, gave me some tough words of wisdom and told me that she brought her kit so she would run with me on the 5th loop. That was good news. I was going to have a pacer finally. I sat and warmed up for 25 minutes, got some warm clothes on and left. Now, I had been trying to throw up for more than 10 hours with no success. I got 2 miles into the 4th lap and everything that was in my stomach came flooding out. In the light of my headlamp, it looked like a scene out of a really gross horror movie. Noodles, Clif bar, water, oranges, everything. Everywhere. SUCCESS!!! I THREW UP!!! Now time to start getting stuff back into my stomach. One problem. I had 1/2 of a Clif bar in my pocket, which I had just seen the other 1/2 come back out. And one gel to make it another 2 miles, but I felt INCREDIBLE and I did something I hadn't done in almost 10 hours. I ran for those next 2 miles. Everything felt great again. I felt like I was flying.
I got to AS 1, told them that I had thrown up, to an overwhelming applause, grabbed a handful of pretzels, downed some coke and headed back out. 4 minutes. That's all I took at that AS. I was back!!....only to have my butt handed back to me again over the next 4.3 miles. This section, was by far, the worst I felt for a very long time. It took over 2 hours to go 4 miles. Everything was starting to hurt. My feet, my knees, my back, my toes, everything. To add insult to injury, I started getting passed by the 50 mile runners. They passed, gave encouraging words, told me that I looked great (at one point I told somebody that I looked great because it was dark and they couldn't see) and had no energy. That handful of pretzels, coke and clif bar were trying to make up for several hours of constant burning of fuel. I was out. Zapped.
I got back into AS2. Sat down and admitted to defeat. For the next hour I sat by the fire essentially fighting with one of the best AS captains I have ever met about not taking off my bib. I was cold, not keeping food in, nothing tasted good and I was completely wiped out. He begged me not to take off the bib, but after an hour I jumped on the back of an ATV for a very long, bumpy ride back to AS 1. Upon my arrival the crew organized a ride back to the start/finish and I was greeted by John (the RD). Told him what was going on and chatted for a bit back to the start/finish. We pulled up in front of the camper and I could tell he didn't want to ask me, but I handed him my bib. D......N.........F............
I went into the camper and laid down for a couple of hours. My mind was racing. My body was shaking from being cold but I knew that I needed to get back out and be a part of the event. I had traveled all of this way and people had given me so much at the other AS's. This was my chance to give back. I threw on some warm clothes and for the next 10 hours helped with food, helped get runners changed, offered words of encouragement. I got to see tears of glory and tears of defeat when others had to make the same decision I did. When you work at AS's or at the start/finish of a race of this nature, you get to see the best and worst in people. People run in on a total high from completing their goal and others break down from exhaustion and grief.
Several hours had gone by, I had seen Byron in from his 2nd loop, offered some advice and walked with him as he set out on his 3rd. 3:00pm goes by and I started to get worried. Where was he? He hadn't checked into AS 3. Is he hurt? Is he sleeping? What's going on? Finally around 3:45 I went and checked the trailer one last time. "Oh, yeah he checked into AS 4 about 30 minutes ago. He should be here anytime. There came the excitement I was waiting for all day. My good friend was about to finish his FIRST 50 MILE ULTRA!!!
I walked down to where I could see down a jeep road. I didn't want to go too far, but asked a couple of people along the way "Have you seen a guy in a bright orange jacket?". I got a few responses, "Oh yeah, I passed him about 5 minutes back. He's on his way". Before I knew it, there he was. Hobbling like a broken human being carrying his own "trekking pole" in one hand. He was going to make it!!! I screamed for him and he shouted back some profanities. I'm not real sure what it was but it made me laugh. We met up, he told me not to hug him and we just walked. When we came into the park I broke away from him and walked ahead. This was his moment. I didn't want to spoil him crossing that finish line by himself. He had pushed his own personal limits to finish. I gave him a HUGE hug and we sat down. I won't bore you anymore with the details, but we packed up the camper and left to go grab a bite to eat, some beer and a hot shower.
The next day and a half was spent analyzing the race with him. What worked for him. What didn't. What I should have done differently. What I will do at my next 100. It was amazing to see the elation in his demeanor on the drive home as he called his wife and spoke to a co-worker. It was incredible.
A few days have passed and I have truly come to terms with my first DNF. I've read that your worst races make for the best stories and this will surely have some great stories. Yeah, I spent a few days moping around the house about how crappy things went, but at the end of the day, it was only a race. I got to come home to my beautiful wife, watched TV cuddled up with my kids and slept in my own bed. I feel that if I hadn't made the decision to call it quits when I did who knows what could have happened. I may have finished. I may not have. There are a lot of "what if's" but when it comes down to my experience I couldn't have asked for a better one.
I want to thank all of the runners at Zumbro 100. You all are amazing people. To the 23 finishers, I salute you!! Thank you to ALL of the volunteers. You are what makes this race so incredible. Some of you spent days working behind the scenes just to see people cry, fix blisters, fill bottles and packs and hear the horror stories. You are all amazing people. To John, his wife (sorry I don't remember your name) and the other organizers, THANK YOU!!! My personal race was hell, but I will recommend any races from RockSteadyRunning to anyone.
As always, I need to thank my God for getting me to the start line. I spent a lot of time in prayer during this race but I know now that he had bigger plans for me on the day than finishing that race. I want to thank my wife for her continued support, my kids for being awesome (they both won their soccer games while dad was out running in the woods), my friends and family.
We are all blessed to live in a country where we can take part in events where we push our bodies to the point of complete annihilation and I love it. See you out on the trails!!!
STAY STRONG, RUN LONG
THA MESSENJAH
Things I used at Zumbro 100
Brooks Cascadia 8 - No longer in production (33 miles)
HOKA ONE ONE Bondi 3 - 24 miles
The North Face lightweight shell
Injinji Performance Midweight Socks (Yes...toe socks)
Clif Shot GelsMerrell Buff
Other random shirts, jackets and and food.
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